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This poem was written before undergoing radiation therapy, and dwells on the unknowns of the process.
This poem called RADIOTHERAPY ANTICIPATED is one of the poems in the cancer poems section of the Genghis Lotus Poetry Collection which is hosted at two locations, genghislotus.com and zenvirus.com/genghislotus/. This poem is by Hugh Cook, author of the medical memoir Cancer Patient, the full text of which is available to read for free online. |
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Your fractions have been charted But nothing has been scripted for you to say. How you play this Will be strictly improvisational. The big machines will not be bothered By whatever it is you choose to say. The silence of the big machines Looms on my schedule, Bright with invisible needles. Here, the technology gets no higher. We are right At the cutting edge of the possible. This is the ultimate casino, The roulette wheel where the statistics spin And choose an outcome for that one red chip, Your one and only: Your life. Radiation. I imagine A white space and an outcome. The internal probe. The deep destroyer. Energies igniting the brain. Clinical hellfire Burning at an air-conditioned temperature. In the course of the incineration of the cancer Some part of my intellect Will burn. No angels have spoken But a sacrifice is demanded. Burnt meat on the alter. An offering. Meek in submission, I will sacrifice For the chance of a happy outcome. Not that I believe in happy outcomes. If you want the honest truth, I think quite possibly This is Sayonara City. Nevertheless, here I am, Scheduled to propitiate a god Whose oddball sense of humor is a minefield. A god who gives no refunds, Who offers no insurance If you choose to cross the Styx, Who gives no guarantees. The actual process, I understand, Will be credit card painless. Hiroshima made congenial. An intrusion Silent as bankruptcy. An action With no audible hammer, With no banner of outcomes, The first results a blankness, A disconnect, Initially truculent, nonconfessing, Mute as the uncut wire. I imagine myself, then, At the outset. Committed to the process But with no real hint of the outcome. I am not by nature a gambling man, but here I am, The living lottery ticket, A set of intelligent genes Tiptoeing across the cymbals of consequence Into the mousetrap future. I imagine the first days. Some done, much more still to do. Once the radiation is done, Two and two will still more Than three and a half. I hope. But the damage will have been done. And what, then, will remain? A diminished me? Or a maimed broccoli, Masquerading in my underwear And purporting to own my name. |
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May be photocopied for classroom use |
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This cancer poem touches on the subject of radiation therapy. A chapter relating to this subject can be found in the online medical memoir Cancer Patient.
The chapter deals with the prelude to radiotherapy. They don't spring it on you by surprise. There's an induction process, which involves both a lecture and the making of a mask. |
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of Cancer Patient: The author writes about his thoughts on radiotherapy, that is, on the risks of radiation therapy and his fears about the process. The author supplies a radiotherapy poem. Click to read |
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